Wanted: India's Next Item Girl
Hottie, item girl, Rakhi Sawant will soon leave a vacuum at the helm of affairs in the 'item number' vertical! Beau Abhishek Awasthi (what does he do for a living?) has nothing to do with it, rather it's YashRaj Films who will make her relook at her priorities.
You see, they have upset the applecart by offering her a "full-fledged dramatic role" in their upcoming movie starrting Rani Mukherjee and Shahid Kapur.
So we were recently sent this job description to be circulated by the National Item Number Committee Of Movie Professionals Or Other Professional Stuntmakers (NINCOMPOOPS):
----------------
Wanted: Senior Item Dancer
Skillsets: Candidate should have extensive experience of dancing especially in front of small studio audiences. Candidate may not have any inhibitions about her past and should be ready to attack it or use it as a weapon whenever required. Using it as a talking point even when not required is an added plus.
Looks are important but a perfect body is more desirable. The right candidate shall have unlimited access to tabloids, plastic surgeons and B-grade producers.
Experience of acting not required. Formal training of dance, acting, language, reading and/or writing not necessary. Knowledge of latest celebrity surgery trends in Hollywood a must. Being self-centred is a must. Willingness to court controversy as a way of life is a necessity. Training will be provided as required.
Remuneration: Will vary from candidate to candidate and will mostly be decided by scouting producers, actors, directors, dance directors and the like. All scouting professionals may be present at the same time as well.
-------------------
Now we contacted NINCOMPOOPS to find out how their hunt was going and they tell us that there are some very impressive resumes. The NINCOMPOOPS have also been kind enough to share some of the shortlisted candidates' information with us:
Amisha: "She has done well to desert her family and drop her family name as well. Plus she has an accent and can already read and write well. Her performance in TPTM was outstanding. Her signature expression (deer caught in headlights) is ideal for this profile," said the NINCOMPOOPS president.
Urmila: "The judging at these contests on TV has shown her that she wants to dance more. She was the original candidate until she got some silly movies as the lead actress. But now, she's looking to revive her career and start where she left off," said the president about Ms Matondkar.
Tanushree Dutta: "Ms Dutta is one of the strongest contenders since she is young, can't act or talk and has had a few flops to her name. She fits the requirements perfectly and she is already prone to making controversial statements. She is close to getting it," added Madam president.
Tanishaa: "She has applied, but I don't know why. She keeps making these appearances in movies and frankly, that's a no-no. An item girl must have focus and not indulge in nonsensical acting assignments. She has agreed to undergo counselling to correct this, but we are doubtful at the moment," she said.
So folks, as you can see, it's a tight race. Tanushree leads, followed by Amisha, Urmila and then Tanishaa. We'll keep you informed as more develops.
